You know you're getting old when... ~
You and your teeth don't sleep together.
Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.
When you wake up looking like your driver's license picture.
It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
When happy hour is a nap.
When you're on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does.
When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.
Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.
Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.
It takes twice as long - to look half as good.
You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don't care anymore.