Someone out there must be
"deadly" at Scrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one)!
PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER
Once again, thanks to young Kellie for this. Now back to my 6 score words!!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Just for fun!
The old ones are still the best
1. Two blondes walk into a building ....... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.
2. Phone answering machine message - '...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...'
3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, 'Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.'
4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, 'No, the steaks are too high.'
6. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.
7. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!' The doctor replied, 'I know you can't, I've cut your arms off'.
8. I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a muscle.
9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.
10. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
11. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.'
12. 'Doc I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home'. 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.' 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.'
13. A man takes his Rottweiller to the vet. 'My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?' 'Well,' said the vet, 'let's have a look at him'.
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What? Because he's crosseyed?' 'No, because he's really heavy'.
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
15. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it...'
16. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my Dad, or my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.
17. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other 'Your round.' The other one says 'So are you, you fat bastard!'
18. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
19. 'You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.'
20. A man walked into the doctors, he said, 'I've hurt my arm in several places'. The doctor said, 'Well don't go there anymore!
21. Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 2826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.
Thanks to young Kellie for forwarding this to me.
1. Two blondes walk into a building ....... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.
2. Phone answering machine message - '...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...'
3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, 'Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.'
4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, 'No, the steaks are too high.'
6. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.
7. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!' The doctor replied, 'I know you can't, I've cut your arms off'.
8. I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a muscle.
9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.
10. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
11. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.'
12. 'Doc I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home'. 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.' 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.'
13. A man takes his Rottweiller to the vet. 'My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?' 'Well,' said the vet, 'let's have a look at him'.
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What? Because he's crosseyed?' 'No, because he's really heavy'.
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
15. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it...'
16. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my Dad, or my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.
17. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other 'Your round.' The other one says 'So are you, you fat bastard!'
18. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
19. 'You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.'
20. A man walked into the doctors, he said, 'I've hurt my arm in several places'. The doctor said, 'Well don't go there anymore!
21. Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 2826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.
Thanks to young Kellie for forwarding this to me.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Stay Premium Gentlemen - A BIG THANK YOU!
The ladies of GCCF had their annual 'Beyond Diamonds' Conference last weekend. From all accounts it was a great success.
The following is a 'thank you' note that I sent out to all the guys that took part.
Guys,
On behalf of all the men of the Fellowship I would like to thank each one of you for your willingness to be involved in the ladies 'Beyond Diamond' Conference as either a Back Office Kitchen Hand or a member of the elite Front Office 'Bow Tie' Brigade.
There were those of you who were able to assist on the Friday night, whilst others were able to help out on the Saturday. Then there were those who could not resist going for gold by helping out on both days. To each and every one of you I can honestly say that your participation was greatly appreciated by all who attended the Conference, right through from the speaker to the chef, and from Kay to my wife. You should give yourself a pat on the back and a 'thumbs in the air well done' greeting when next you catch up with one another as a top job was done by all.
I also wish to thank those who offered to assist but due to sudden change in circumstances had to withdraw their services. Then there were those who in spite of carrying an injury were present in the numbers (you know who you are), and then there was Paul W who was with us in spirit, but physically elsewhere as he had the task of looking after the speakers family.
I must also make special comment about the willingness of you all to do whatever was asked of you, even if it was not on your 'duties' list. That willingness went a long way to ensuing that we were able to have a smooth sail through the Conference.
I must however admit that I was envious of the opportunity that the Saturday kitchen hands had of picking up some cooking points from our great Master Chef Rebecca. Is that not right, young Josh? And talking about 'young' it was great that a number of the younger men were able to join in with some of the older hands for the event. (Evidence of their attendance has already been placed on FaceBook somewhere.)
I also wish to thank all the band members for providing such great background music to assist us as we went about our tasks. You sounded great, even with the doors shut!
Then finally, but not in the least I wish to thank the Ladies Committee for making our jobs so much easier by having everything so well set out for us. The personal involvement Yolanda, Glenda and Rosemary, with the ever present shadow of Kay was great in keeping us 'alive' as we went about our allotted tasks.
But like the sales pitch on the TV, there is more. That more was the recognition that was expressed by Kay on behalf of the ladies at both the closing of the Conference and at the 9:30 service yesterday morning, of the great job that we men have provided over the years in assisting the ladies to have such a great time together.
I can only back up Kay's comments by saying as I did at the start of this note, thank you again for your part in making the weekend so great for the ladies.
Regards,
Graeme Brattle
The following is a 'thank you' note that I sent out to all the guys that took part.
Guys,
On behalf of all the men of the Fellowship I would like to thank each one of you for your willingness to be involved in the ladies 'Beyond Diamond' Conference as either a Back Office Kitchen Hand or a member of the elite Front Office 'Bow Tie' Brigade.
There were those of you who were able to assist on the Friday night, whilst others were able to help out on the Saturday. Then there were those who could not resist going for gold by helping out on both days. To each and every one of you I can honestly say that your participation was greatly appreciated by all who attended the Conference, right through from the speaker to the chef, and from Kay to my wife. You should give yourself a pat on the back and a 'thumbs in the air well done' greeting when next you catch up with one another as a top job was done by all.
I also wish to thank those who offered to assist but due to sudden change in circumstances had to withdraw their services. Then there were those who in spite of carrying an injury were present in the numbers (you know who you are), and then there was Paul W who was with us in spirit, but physically elsewhere as he had the task of looking after the speakers family.
I must also make special comment about the willingness of you all to do whatever was asked of you, even if it was not on your 'duties' list. That willingness went a long way to ensuing that we were able to have a smooth sail through the Conference.
I must however admit that I was envious of the opportunity that the Saturday kitchen hands had of picking up some cooking points from our great Master Chef Rebecca. Is that not right, young Josh? And talking about 'young' it was great that a number of the younger men were able to join in with some of the older hands for the event. (Evidence of their attendance has already been placed on FaceBook somewhere.)
I also wish to thank all the band members for providing such great background music to assist us as we went about our tasks. You sounded great, even with the doors shut!
Then finally, but not in the least I wish to thank the Ladies Committee for making our jobs so much easier by having everything so well set out for us. The personal involvement Yolanda, Glenda and Rosemary, with the ever present shadow of Kay was great in keeping us 'alive' as we went about our allotted tasks.
But like the sales pitch on the TV, there is more. That more was the recognition that was expressed by Kay on behalf of the ladies at both the closing of the Conference and at the 9:30 service yesterday morning, of the great job that we men have provided over the years in assisting the ladies to have such a great time together.
I can only back up Kay's comments by saying as I did at the start of this note, thank you again for your part in making the weekend so great for the ladies.
Regards,
Graeme Brattle
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Wealth Propulsion Intensive Seminar - Reflections
Over the last weekend from Friday night at 6:00pm until Sunday night at 10:00pm I along with a few hundred others spent time in Brisbane with Christopher Howard and his Team. The seminar topics addressed a range of aspects of our life conditioning that were hindering our ability to be the person that we were meant to be. In backing this up, we also worked our way through a number of exercises that were geared to assist us to leave behind our baggage, which for some of us we had carried with us for more years than we would wish to acknowledge, without necessarily recognising that it was indeed baggage.
Topics covered were from a number of the courses on offer, thereby giving us a small window in which to look at the benefit of taking each of those courses in full.
The weekend was highly charged with both enthusiasm and noise. Mind you there were also the quieter times as we wrote down responses to various items of material which were then usually shared or role played with others in groups of 3 or 4, throughout the day.
After the breaks, often a game of 'Fact or Crap' was played, and those chosen at random to play were given the opportunity to win valuable prizes. There were also several 'give away' promotional spots, where again the items handed out were of significant value.
As both Chris and Johnny, the two presenters wanted to ensure that we in no way were short changed, the finishing times went out the door so to speak. With this in mind I for one would encourage all those thinking of attending to have a bottle of water and perhaps some light refreshments with them, to ensure that they were able to be sustained physically, as in a good way mentally and emotionally you were constantly being stretched.
All in all, especially for one who was able to attend free, through logging onto the website listed below I found that the time spent was very educational and life enriching.
If I was wearing a hat I would raise it to Chris and the Team for a fantastic weekend.
http://www.wealthpropulsion.com.au
Topics covered were from a number of the courses on offer, thereby giving us a small window in which to look at the benefit of taking each of those courses in full.
The weekend was highly charged with both enthusiasm and noise. Mind you there were also the quieter times as we wrote down responses to various items of material which were then usually shared or role played with others in groups of 3 or 4, throughout the day.
After the breaks, often a game of 'Fact or Crap' was played, and those chosen at random to play were given the opportunity to win valuable prizes. There were also several 'give away' promotional spots, where again the items handed out were of significant value.
As both Chris and Johnny, the two presenters wanted to ensure that we in no way were short changed, the finishing times went out the door so to speak. With this in mind I for one would encourage all those thinking of attending to have a bottle of water and perhaps some light refreshments with them, to ensure that they were able to be sustained physically, as in a good way mentally and emotionally you were constantly being stretched.
All in all, especially for one who was able to attend free, through logging onto the website listed below I found that the time spent was very educational and life enriching.
If I was wearing a hat I would raise it to Chris and the Team for a fantastic weekend.
http://www.wealthpropulsion.com.au
Monday, July 5, 2010
The One Thousand Legged Worm Song! -( Author to remain unknown)
The ‘One Thousand Legged Worm ‘ song.
Said a Thousand Legged Worm,
As he gave a little squirm,
Have you seen a leg of mine?
If it can’t be found ,
I will have to hop around,
On my Nine Hundred and Ninety Nine.
Hop around…hop around,
Hop around…hop around,
Have you seen a leg of mine?
If it can’t be found ,
I will have to hop around ,
On my Nine Hundred and Ninety,
Nine Hundred and Ninety,
Nine Hundred and Ninety Nine!!!
ACTIONS
As soon as we come to the ‘Hop around’ part, that is when we all start
to hop around in a big ‘Worm Line’ as all our feet make up the 999!!
Said a Thousand Legged Worm,
As he gave a little squirm,
Have you seen a leg of mine?
If it can’t be found ,
I will have to hop around,
On my Nine Hundred and Ninety Nine.
Hop around…hop around,
Hop around…hop around,
Have you seen a leg of mine?
If it can’t be found ,
I will have to hop around ,
On my Nine Hundred and Ninety,
Nine Hundred and Ninety,
Nine Hundred and Ninety Nine!!!
ACTIONS
As soon as we come to the ‘Hop around’ part, that is when we all start
to hop around in a big ‘Worm Line’ as all our feet make up the 999!!
This is aimed at the Australian voters
ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER
This one is a little different....Two Different Versions....Two Different Morals
OLD VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.
Channels 7, 9 and 10,the ABC and SBS show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
Australia is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'
Acorn stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.' Cardinal George Pell then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
Prime Minister Gillard condemns the ant and blames John Howard, Robert Menzies, Capt James Cook, and the Pope for the grasshopper's plight.
Bob Brown exclaims in an interview on Today Tonight that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
Finally, Labor in conjunction with the Greens draft the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government and given to the grasshopper.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and once peaceful, neighborhood.
Tony Abbot then wins the 2010 election removes taxes on big business and mining increases taxes on small business the ants and grasshoppers to make up the shortfall hires the spiders to control any dissenters.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2010.
This one is a little different....Two Different Versions....Two Different Morals
OLD VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.
Channels 7, 9 and 10,the ABC and SBS show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
Australia is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'
Acorn stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.' Cardinal George Pell then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
Prime Minister Gillard condemns the ant and blames John Howard, Robert Menzies, Capt James Cook, and the Pope for the grasshopper's plight.
Bob Brown exclaims in an interview on Today Tonight that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
Finally, Labor in conjunction with the Greens draft the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government and given to the grasshopper.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and once peaceful, neighborhood.
Tony Abbot then wins the 2010 election removes taxes on big business and mining increases taxes on small business the ants and grasshoppers to make up the shortfall hires the spiders to control any dissenters.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2010.
A lesson from an older generation!
Learn from your elders
A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easy.
So the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game.
The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists saying that the game is a lot of fun. I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5. Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500, he says. This catches the senior's attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?'
The senior doesn't say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now it's the senior's turn. He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?'
The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he could find on the Net.
He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up.
He wakes the senior and hands him $500. The senior pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the senior up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?'
The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.
Thank you to the person who sent me this. I forgot to remember your name in all of the excitement!
A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easy.
So the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game.
The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists saying that the game is a lot of fun. I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5. Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500, he says. This catches the senior's attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?'
The senior doesn't say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now it's the senior's turn. He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?'
The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he could find on the Net.
He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up.
He wakes the senior and hands him $500. The senior pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the senior up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?'
The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.
Thank you to the person who sent me this. I forgot to remember your name in all of the excitement!
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